Mugabe ‘declares war’ on entire Universe

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has "declared war on the entire Universe”, said Opposition Leader Morgan Tsvangirai from inside the Dutch embassy in the capital Harare.

"It's not an election, that is what we keep saying, it is a self inflated egotistical grab for the Universe, he plans to build a new homestead on Mars and start mining the Moon for space truffles" Mr Tsvangirai, who has withdrawn from Friday's presidential run-off and sought diplomatic protection, has told a News Free News reporter.

When news of the move to 'take over the Universe' spread to the White House President Bush is quoted as saying. " well he can't have the Universe,...it's mine, it's mine, it's mine (whilst stamping his foot several times).

NASA Adobe Sponsorship Deal

NASA announced today that after decades of using a pirated copy of Adobe Photoshop that they downloaded from Mininova to alter photographs of Mars and the Moon for public release that they have today signed a landark sponsorship deal with Adobe.
A spokesperson for NASA is quoted as saying "Photoshop rocks! you wouldn't believe the SHIT we have to cut out of those Mars photos ....it would blow your mind man."

Adobe spokesperson Mirna Slashenbach stated in a media release today that they were very happy with the new deal though it did require some compromises that saw Adobe making some alterations to the popular software. Ms Slashenbach said that the clincher to the deal was a request that they remove the commonly used UFO,Alien and 'George Bush wearing a propellor cap' custom brushes.

Here is a photo from the current Pheonix Mars mission after having NASA's text book editting applied:








And here's the same image before editting showing it's real blue sky:














And with even less editting......